THE POWER OF PROJECTION

A New Era of RESPONSE-ability In Social Media

I stepped into a hornet’s nest.

In social media that is. 

I was reminded first hand why I have been obsessed with the power of projection. 

But first: 

This week free classes:

• Sunday at 9am PST: 4 Stories That Changed My Life (and maybe yours)

• Tuesday April 23rd: 11am PST: How to Tell Stories That Heal The World

What is a projection?

We know what happens in the theater. 

In regards to relationships, a projection is commonly understood as when someone unconsciously attributes their thoughts, feelings, or behaviors onto another person. 

“We are living in a hallway of mirrors,” my fairy godmother and writer/teacher Ariel Spillsburg explains. We are always seeing aspects of ourselves in others. 

But I’ve been thinking a lot about the danger of projection, the will to project an ideal onto another– and then get furious, or feel let down, when that person is not what we wanted them to be. 

We saw it with the ancient greek gods, and in our modern day political leaders, to just about everyone and anyone in social media. 

I’ve been fascinated by projections for a long time, because as a storyteller, you are placing yourself on the screen for others to project upon. They get to see their own greatness in you, and their shadow. I’ve been preparing to teach about this under recognized aspect of storytelling— because I could feel in my bones that it is something we need to be consciously tending.

And then….

So I stepped in a hornet’s nest

when I spoke up for someone in social media. 

If I tell you the details, we will lose the thread of this wondering about the power of projections. But I’ll share this: I spoke up for a man whose character is being questioned, and is under full mob attack in social media. 

WHAT GOES OUT COMES BACK

What returned to me was a flurry of response. 

50% in public 50% of the comments in private through DM. 

This part fascinated me. Many thanked me for speaking out, both publicly and privately. 

One woman directed her anger about the situation in my direction, and chose to do so in private. Repeatedly.

I won’t repeat what was said (why bother amplifying it) I will tell you my character was both questioned, and I was accused of a slurry of things that had nothing to do with what I was speaking about. I was even “quoted” as saying something, that anyone can clearly see— I didn’t say. Not even between the lines.

I was reminded of the power of the trauma field. That when activated the cloud of perception becomes blurry. It’s akin to driving through a heavy rainstorm, and your wind shield wipers aren’t working. You know there are dangers, but you can’t see them clearly, so everything feels dangerous.

So this idea of allowing yourself to be seen in an activated trauma field… it’s something to be wary of. I understand why so many didn’t want to say anything.

So of course I understand the collective fear of speaking out.

“It’s not my fight.” 

And look, this issue this man is tending– is not my fight. 

I even wonder if it is my business. 

But the work of understanding the power of projections, and how one person can take on the symbolic definition that means many different things for different people, and the power of the stories we collectively create and agree upon, and then the roles we cast people into based on that collective agreement, regardless of it is true… that is my business. And it is yours. 

And here’s the truth of what happened:

When I read the comments on facebook about a fellow creator and artist

a fire burned through, 

the spirit of life arrived, 

and it was my turn to speak. 

The post I wrote took a stand for seeing someone in their wholeness. 

Even with the allegations.

This is what we do as storytellers.

We see the constellation of information as being parts on the way of someone becoming the wholeness of a soul’s journey.

We don’t stop at one spot and say that is the definition of a soul. 

It is how we string the moments of our life together that defines us. 

It is how we live to tell the story.

Perhaps this is why I believe in stories more in uncertain times, than people. Stories… they want to serve life. They want to keep going.

Humans… well this is to be determined.

One woman was angry that I didn’t speak for the other person involved in the case. 

She wanted me to be something I wasn’t. 

She wanted me to speak what wanted to be spoken through her. 

And then other person came out of the wood work, who didn’t feel defended when they were under public attack, asking me why I hadn’t spoken for them. 

It became clear: 

This instrument of voice – 

people wanted it played

to the tune of their own drum. 

Not mine. 

But in each of these instances: 

it was their voice that needed to sing from the roof tops on their particular subject, not mine. 

I had spoken my thread into the tapestry of our co-creation.

My thread was about seeing people in their wholeness. 

The Etymology of SOCIAL 

Latin socialis, "of companionship, of allies; united, living with others; of marriage, conjugal," from socius "companion, ally," 

It is probably originally "follower," from PIE *sokw-yo-, suffixed form of root *sekw- (1) "to follow." 

From Old Norse seggr "companion," 

This term speaks of allship, connection, and following each other. 

Social Media as The Modern Day Coliseum

What we now refer to as social media has become something else. 

It has become a place where people can rip each other to shreds in public– with no accountability for the power of our language. 

While others sit back and watch and cheer and jeer from the comfort of their own homes. 

It has become a modern day version of the coliseum. We know the tragic stories of ancient Rome, where staged hunts between wild beasts and humans were treated as entertainment. The gruesome battles led to the deaths of thousands of animals, including lions, leopards, bears, and elephants.

We want to believe we are more civilized than that. But perhaps this thirst for blood has taken on another form? And we can now join the stadium from the comfort of our own home.  

How does Trust live among us in these times? 

I was speaking with friend and fellow storyteller Jay Golden, who raised the great question of our time: in the era of AI, where images, voice, and everything else can  be recreated, how do we know what to trust?

As humans we have used our bodies to know people. I have interviewed many investors about how they know who to invest in: and every single person has said the same thing. “I don’t know. It’s a gut feeling.” 

“I don’t know.” I love the truth in this simple comment — our brain doesn’t hold all of the assets to knowing: so much of our knowing lives in our animal body. And we experience this: when we are next to each other.

We are still living in a state of expression when we still know how to listen to the knowing in our bodies, but when separated from this: and all we have to use is 1 or 2 of our senses, rather than all of our senses… what will we become? 

Ancient Teachings

I am reminded of the wisdom teaching in the Kabbalah that one isn’t to speak of anyone — good or bad. “The kabbalists have a term for gossip: lashon hara, or evil speech. They teach that it is the worst form of darkness… because it ropes together anything negative that comes out of your mouth – not just gossip. It goes beyond simply speaking negatively about someone; it includes saying things in anger, and talking negatively about ourselves.”

Abuse of power

is abuse of power. 

Words hold power. 

And anyone can use them. 

A few special things to note:

Illustrations by @surrealistly on instagram

If you value these considerations, thank you for subscribing.

Subscribers: Your Special Offerings Today Include…..

+ [Video] WHAT DOES. IT MEAN TO BE A MYTH MAKER:

A video of Ariel Spillsbury fantastically popular talk from the Sacred Storytelling Summit.

+ A teaching offered to me by several teachers on how to protect yourself from other’s projections. This is material we will be covering in our upcoming course THE ALCHEMY OF STORY: A Tool for Healing.

May you manage your energetic boundaries well, so you know you can always have the courage to speak when it is your time to use your voice.